Wikipedia:Peer review/Etty Hillesum/archive1

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Etty Hillesum[edit]

My first full article, I'm not sure about the format. If anyone could give me some pointers how to improve the format, I'd be a happy Wiki. I'm pretty confident about the writing as such though. SauronMaiar 21 Dec 2004 17.10 (UTC)

I will make some verb tense modifications directly to the article. As written, she seems still alive. Revmachine21 12:55, 11 Jan 2005 (UTC)
The article would be improved by the following, pictures of Etty, picture of her momument and or picture of the school named after her. She seems like an interesting person. I also added a couple of additional links. If you know of more external links, it would be nice to include them. Revmachine21 13:31, 11 Jan 2005 (UTC)
She does seem interesting... good attempt at an article! I sorted out the tense issues but I have some suggestions:
  1. We need an "References" section, see cite your sources
  2. The lead section needs to be expanded to a full paragraph.
  3. And pictures of the original diary, or of Etty herself that you can get under public domain/GFDL would be really helpful!
Good work! - Ta bu shi da yu 05:46, 21 Jan 2005 (UTC)

Minor: Why "Dutch Jewish" father and then "Jewish Russian" mother? Perhaps there is a particular reason for this word order? I did not dare to edit.